I have to write another brief post today, but wanted to share in the joy of my being able to shower regularly again! I no longer have to worry about the stream of water hitting my chest as it is no longer painful. This has made my life much easier and those around me much happier. At this time, it has been five weeks since surgery and it feels as though it’s been 6 months or so. Not to say that the pain is completely gone and doesn’t remind me it was only five weeks ago, but there are so many other things going on right now for M and I that it is hard to remember that I had surgery. It took almost no adjustment whatsoever. I have noticed that it is much easier for me to do things because I’m not constantly worried about hiding my breasts, thus my anxiety levels while out and about have decreased dramatically. What a wonderful experience it is to be in public without having to worry. I still feel anxiety around bathroom situations. I don’t think I’ve ever really discussed the stress I feel if I have to go the bathroom while out in public. I have never made it a habit to use men’s rooms as I feel the level of physical harm is greater to me within those rooms. However, some women are very territorial and are not always shy about expressing their opinions about me being “in the wrong bathroom”; at the very least, the glares I receive are enough to let me know that’s what they’re thinking. I had many more problems in Baltimore than I’ve had here. Partly because androgynous looking people are not as uncommon here as they were in Baltimore, but mostly because just living in Baltimore was stressful. While we were living there, M and I came up with non-verbal signals to get me out of the bathroom and we always make a point to be talking to one another when we go into bathrooms. I anticipate continuing to use women’s restrooms because they still feel less physically threatening, and I don’t really expect that there will be much difference in women’s reactions to me as my breasts were never really all that noticeable in the first place, but I have a heightened awareness about it now. I’m sure that will lessen in time, but bathrooms continue to provide a source of unique, everyday stress that some transgender or androgynous people experience.