Yesterday was my postoperative suture visit with Dr. Brownstein. I was grateful that I had kept a final pain pill for the visit as I can’t imagine how much more it would have hurt had I not had the pill. The appointment lasted only ten minutes or so. Dr. Brownstein was very direct in removing the sutures, he certainly didn’t hold back for fear of hurting me. He removed each individual suture from one side and I was once again reminded that the pain had to be repeated by having it done on the other side. While he was removing the sutures I asked him how many there were and he says that he doesn’t count because there are just too many. When he was done removing the sutures he applied adhesive to the incisions and placed tape over the adhesive; the adhesive really stung as it was being applied but it didn’t last that long. He then applied Polysporin to the nipple grafts and covered them with 2 x 2 gauze. The binder was then put back on and I was done. Again I felt residual pain from the procedure but that only lasted for about an hour and after the pain pill wore off I took some more Tylenol and that was enough to help. Last night when M got home we took the binder off so that I could shower. It was very stressful and emotional for us both. I was worried that M would find me less attractive and M was apparently worried that I wouldn’t be pleased with the results. Both fears proved to be unfounded although M admits to being a little queasy at seeing the grafts not because of how they looked on me but rather just the general thought of the surgical process that created them. The tape covers the incisions, so we haven’t seen everything yet, but it was exciting to see the results. I know that it takes anywhere from six months to a year to fully heal which is somewhat frustrating, but so far it seems great. There are rules about removing the dressings from the grafts as well as about showering—so the prospect of removing the dressings and the actual shower was very stressful. I asked M to shower with me so that it would be less stressful, and it was. I stood in front of her as far away from the water as I could get and removed the showerhead from the holder so I could direct the flow of water without fear of too much water getting on my chest. I’m sure that I will take fewer precautions as I take more showers…luckily the tape only stays on for another week and the dressings only have to be applied for another two weeks. The grafts weren’t quite what I was expecting although it sounds silly they looked more stitched on than I expected, but Dr. Brownstein seemed very pleased with them, so I feel reassured that all is well in that regard. Since I live in the area he asked me to make a follow-up appointment in 4-6 weeks. I have the wear the binder for another week, but was told I can wear a t-shirt underneath it, if that is more comfortable. When I go back to campus on Monday, I will definitely take advantage of that. I’m apprehensive about my return. This semester, Mondays have been my long days on campus (13 hours); I’m not doing the full 13 hours this first Monday, but still have to be there for about 8 hours. I’m taking “half” days the rest of the week too, trying to ease myself back into the swing of things. I have been getting out each day since my drains were removed, and each time has been for longer periods of time, but I still tire easily and nap often. I am looking forward to feeling better and am feeling consistently better especially because I was offered a phone interview for a job that I really want. Wish me luck!